Saturday, February 07, 2004

Ah, The Grand Ole Game.

Curling - nothing short of a regal (and pricey!) game meant for only those brave enough to drink their own body weight in one sitting. But what really is this sport all about? Why do grown (and heavily souced) individuals slide down a frozen sheet of ice with a yellow slab of granite in their hand? Why do they yell such provocative comments as 'hard' anyways?

I think it's because they're punch drunk and like to throw things. Which begs the question... why does the ice have to be so pristine? If the game was invented using a clump of shit and a patch of frozen cow piss in Scotland, why does curling need 'perfect ice' today? Is it really the same game... how the hell could anyone make 'perfect ice' in the 1300s for god sake. I wonder if a medieval curler called for a 'mulligan' every time his clump of shit hit a dingleberry just shy of the button sending it zooming off the 'rink' and straight to the bottom of the lake.

I say bring curling back to its roots and bring not drinking, but drunkeness back into the mainstream.

At least 'the wrench' is back.


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