Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Rats! Rats in my hair! aiiieeeeeeeee!

We've taken a break from ruining the World Wide Web for you, mostly to repose and reflect, and to inhale loyalism like so much classroom Liquid Paper. One of my favourite aspects of summertime is the complete and total disappearance of productivity, almost as a rite of passage. Aggressive laziness. Steve-O shouts, "Get outside!" like a drill seargeant, demanding to see proof that you weren't doing work at that computer, like a poor old sod. I don't have to Do Stuff, and nobody wants Stuff to be Done, and thus there shall be no Doing of Stuff.

Now that I've slung my sunburned arms over this keyboard once again, let's talk politics.

During our sabbatical, our good Premier Ministre called his-self an election, so as to not appear weak in the face of scandalous accusations. This has been perhaps the only election in my memory where I have zero allegiance to any party at all, and in fact don't want any. They all suck, and I need a shower just listening to them. I feel like I'm standing amongst a group of people trying to touch me with dead rats. Ewww, from all sides. Harper, he can eat me. Layton's boys can eat me. Spiegel and the Greenery can eat me with a side of organic lettuce. It goes without saying that Martin can eat extra helpings of me. It's a buffet, and you're all invited, you vile fucks.

In fact, what I'd like is the complete evaporation of politics from society, but that's for another time. Right now I need to pick a party, in order to drape myself in its hues, its ideas, its vision. Herein lies my conundrum: has a single idea been presented in the campaign of any party so far? Harper's been all give 'em more guns, which isn't so much an idea as a pathology. That PC merger with the Loonies eliminated any possible inkling of voting for the Tories. The NDP couldn't organize a bake sale, and really, is this a man you want meeting foreign leaders? What is this election about, anyway?

Which leaves me, once again, on the fringe, looking at all the degenerates around me. I see before me, in no particular order, the Green Party, the Canadian Action Party, the Marijuana Party, and various Marxist outfits. The CBC does a commendable job of rounding up all things election into one place, and I'm going to have to pore over all of it, hopefully with the Queen at my side. In the comments section, how about you help me along?


Blogger Rob Drimmie said...

The Marijuana Party has thrown its support behind the NDP, and actually they're looking to be a decent, slightly-less-laughable-than-usual party this year.

I'm still torn between Green and NDP, because even if they are nonexistant on the national scene, at least they're not complete and utter asshats.

Layton has merit if only because he out-and-out called Martin a murderer. w00t!

Seriously though, right now my vote's probably going NDPwards, for one primary reason: Proportional Government. One of their primary goals in legislature, be it as part of a coalition government or as the third opposition, is going to be pushing and pushing for a form of (I think) Mixed Member Proportional (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mixed_Member_Proportional) government.

MMP elections could dramatically change government in Canada by determining the number of seats by popular vote, instead of by riding, which means that future governments would be significantly more representative of voters wishes and your vote wouldn't end up being near meaningless when the Liberal candidate in your riding wins just because they have the most, not the majority of, votes.

And if you can't decide, then consider one of Chretien's final moves before being hustled out of Ottawa. To combat corporate influence, each recognized/registered political party, from the Liberals to the Canadian Communists to the Heritage Party gets $1.75 of government funding per vote, so if nothing else will help you decide, who do you want to give money to?

2:34 PM  
Blogger Nick said...

You and I are similar, Rob. It's basically between Green and NDP for me, truth be told, and I'm not particularly lefty to begin with.

I'm a sucker for spin, I must say, and I like the Green's de-emphasis on ideology, to say nothing of their eschewing of the political potshots being rained on Martin with pantshitting glee by the likes of Layton and Harper. It feels like a party that's as fed up with politics as I am. And they advocate the Proportional Representation of which you speak. Right now I'm leaning Greenward.

My Unionist co-blogger here is sure to chime in at any minute....

3:10 PM  
Blogger Rob Drimmie said...

The biggest problem with the Greens, and how's this for the conspiracy, is that they're just too damn good to be true. There's got to be something they're doing wrong. What's New Zealand like? Maybe they're a horrible one-world government hellbent on domination. They think ahead, y'know, and in seven generations they could easily rule the the planet with their peace and love and stuff.

A year ago even I'd have laughed my ass off if someone told me I'd vote NDP.

8:15 PM  
Blogger Dick said...

As a card-carrying member of the Orange Order, I'm finding Layton's tactics increasingly worrisome. The heady days of vision and search for the greater good promoted by Tommy Douglas and Ed Broadbent have degenerated into a carnival sideshow of 'hip' promotions and bonafide hucksterism.
Yet, is the NDP 'cool'? Does having Steven Page on board lend some sort of credibility? Is that all that is required to consider this election a success in NDP party circles? That's so early '90s.
Most of us got into the NDP in order to fight politics. While Diefenbaker was obsessing over the internal workings of the Conservative party, T.C. was out in Saskatchewan forming health care. It's always been the vision, social activism and sense of purpose which has drawn people to the party.
And Jack has shattered it with his assclown antics. It might have been mildly amusing on the municipal scene, but this is embarassing. In moving to this urban, hip and low calorie campaign mode, it seems like his main constituency has become the rebellious transplanted 905 urbanites of downtown. He's distanced himself from the unions, the Praries and the intelligensia. Ah fuck 'em. First get the Rave kids on board - and then the world!
I am subsequently calling a wildcat strike until Diamond Jack is unseated.

8:34 PM  
Blogger Dick said...

Does anybody know how to officially register an abstension. I don't want to spoil my ballot, I just want to register a vote for no one.

I know you can do it in the States... but what about here?

8:45 PM  
Blogger Rob Drimmie said...

It looks like I was wrong about the Marijuana party. At some point in the past couple of months they've decided to run candidates in the federal election this year. It doesn't look like they've got many candidates at all yet though.


9:00 AM  
Blogger James said...

Well, I was all set to vote NDP in my reasonably-safe Liberal riding, ya know, just to "send a message." But I read a column by John Barber in the Globe this week that said that Toronto has always had to hold the centre in federal elections and with the possibility of a Conservative government (AGH!!), I think I'll be voting Liberal again. I couldn't live with myself if we end up with a government led by Stephen Harper and I didn't try to stem the tide. Plus, the Liberals are making all the right noises about helping the city of Toronto. At least, they're making the same noises as the NDP, who will probably pick up a few seats downtown. So, my conscience will be somewhat clear.

11:42 PM  

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